Kimmy:
'Oh how I how I miss those days' sighed Kimmy admitting to no one in particular that she is bored. 'The fans, the fans. I miss the fans'. Precious tries to say something but Kimmy won't let her
Mr had not been feeling well. He closed his eyes. When he opened them he was looking at Kimmy......
Kimmy stood over Mr, hands on ample hips. 'I know that smell! It's Mr ! Well, well, well ... You dead now?'
"Hey Mr," said Mugger. "Pfffffftttt!!!"
Mugger wanders over to Kimmy. "This Rainbow Bridge life is boring, I tell you. B.O.R.I.N.G." We seriously need to fix that, Kimmy darling."
Kimmy was delighted to see her old furriend and rushes to air kiss him. 'Mugger! You bad boy. You just couldn't keep away'. She wiggled her hips. 'take me like you've never taken me before'! But she did have to admit, it WAS boring.
Precious looked on horrified. 'What was Kimmy up to and who was this handsome stranger and could she hear DOM DOM DOM in the background?
But Kimmy knew that Mugger would have a plan. He always had a plan ... Mwhahhhhhhhhhaa
"Well, Kimmy my sweet femmey fataley," Mugger said, "I do have a bit of an idea. I'm thinking...." He stood up on his hind legs and threw his front paws out like fabulous jazz hands! "I'm thinking.... HOTEL!!!"
I don't think I'm dead Mr stammers...... But why was he here? Mugger replied, "Maybe somebody whacked you on the head, although your skull is so thick I can't see why that would hurt you, but whatever happened, you seem to have the ability to visit the bridge. You don't really smell dead, except for the farts."
Betsey:
Betsey was grouchy, which wasn't unusual. Ennui (boredom) was an ever-present part of her life. Rainbow Bridge was decidedly a really boring place for her and she was the perpetually sleepy, half-alive resident grouchy gatekeeper. The sight of all these happy, gamboling and totally healthy cats romping amongst the flowers, the brooks and eternally sunshiny days did nothing to improve her grouchiness. Not one cat had ever arrived that had tried to wreak havoc in all this serenity, except maybe Kimmy and Mugger. But even they were looking a bit peaked from all the tranquility. Betsey noticed that they were all lounging about in the sunshine doing nothing much, and they were indeed as bored as she was. Her ears perked up at some of the banter though and her last thoughts as she once again fell into sleep: "Woo Hoo, party time..and I must toss that Mr. out on his ear later. He's not supposed to be here...yet."
Kimmy/Mugger/Mr:
Mr. farted and said, Muggs ol boy it's great to see you. Let's see what trouble we can get into.
Mugger replied, "Mr, just having you here is inspiring me to all sorts of trouble, pffft."
Just as Mr was getting excited about hanging with Mugger, he starts choking and coughing. he closes his eyes and when he opens them he is lying on Moms bed and she just gave him medicine.
Mr rubs his eyes and looks around. Boots and Lou and those obnoxious kitties are there.
ps sorry about technical issues. using a nook.
Mr wonders what is going on.
Betsey:
Betsey peered through the clouds on her heavenly perch, her mood immeasurably improved. Sending back usurpers to the gates of Rainbow Bridge was her specialty and the only part of her job she actually enjoyed. Her eyes softened when she noticed that Mr. wasn't well. Maybe the time wasn't right just yet for a complete crossover, but half-lives...well maybe...Mugger would be happy and so come to think of it would Kimmy and that mischievous Assistant of hers, Precious. Betsey scowled..."You're losing it. What are you thinking? Are you crazy?" "Yeah", was the answer that came back to her. I want to come out and play.
Kimmy/Mugger/Mr:
Mr quickly tells Lou he saw Mugger and Kimmy. Boots comes over at the mention of Kimmy. There was no one better to spar with. Lou and Boots wonder if Mr is delirious.
~July1/2012 entries
Kimmy/MuggerPrecious
Kimmy was delighted to be called a femme fatally and rubbed around Mugger. 'A hotel .... But I am ... Was, a fur dresser. What about a luxury spa and hotel? Posh ... No riff raff.
Kimmy clapped her paws together. That is so divine, like us. Now what shall we call it?
Mugger twitched his whiskers. "Kimmy, you are the doyenne of posh, so of course the hotel/spa will reflect you in the best way possible! I only ask, with respect, that I be allowed a small role. Bellhop, perhaps, because I enjoy meeting new people. I'd offer to manage, but I'm afraid I'm unskilled at that, certainly compared to you! It would be like having a thug in charge of your posh hotel/spa
Hmmm, said Kimmy. You would make a great bell hop, darling. That is a divine idea! Now what shall we call this place? Kimmy crosses her paws and purrs like she does when she wants something, a trick she taught Puss on Shrek.Hmmmm ...
Kimmy's lovely face was full of concentration. Precious tried to think too. She thought Kimmy was so divine.
Hhhmmmm, said Kimmy 'Kimmy's Place?' she suggested rolling over to show her still ample tummy.
Mugger frowned. "Calling it Kimmy's Place might make the ignorant unwashed masses who don't know you think it's not as posh and divine as you really are. What we really need is... something modern yet classic. Something with one word, something easy and unforgettable that conveys exactly how posh and exclusive this place will be." He thought hard for a minute, his tail twitching so fast he almost accidentally poinked away. Then, the glow of enlightenment smacked him right in the face. Once again, he rears up on his hind legs and spreads his forepaws into fabulous jazz hands. "I KNOW!!!!" he yelled. "We'll call it.... The Divine!"
Kimmy pondered for a second, disappointed that it wasn't named after her. Then ... 'oh cos I'm ... Er ... We're divine?! Oh that's divine darling! She gave Mugger a nose kiss.
Mugger wrapped his tail around Kimmy. "Yes, my darling, it's because you are Divine!" Meanwhile, his brain is working overtime. It's not going to be easy maintaining the Kindly Wise Old Morgan Freeman Driving Miss Daisy Crazy Bellhop routine when he had Cary Grant waiting in the wings. (dom dom dom)
Mugger saw that Kimmy was just that little bit disappointed in the name of the hotel. "Sweetheart," he said to her, "Amongst ourselves, we will always refer to The Divine as Kimmy's Divine, if that's all right with you?"
Kimmy was very pleased indeed. She had really missed Mugger. 'I may play the role of Clawdette as my fans miss me. Write that down Precious'. She glanced around to see what cats were about. 'I saw Tuffy the other day. He's in 7th heaven darling. Now where do we start? Shall we send Precious to Ikea, Rainbow Bridge branch? Kimmy glanced at Mugger and noticed how handsome he was. Sort of younger. Death suited him.
Mugger preened under Kimmy's flirtatious glances. "Do you really want Ikea, darling? This is the Rainbow Bridge, we can have any kind of furnishings we want all at the snap of a claw! You want Bauhaus? You got Bauhaus. You want Louie the Whatever, you get Louie the Whatever. You want unicorns, you get unicorns, plus unicorns are delicious!"
Betsey:
Today a lot of cats were crossing the Bridge. They were brought to the Bridge by a bunch of living cats in capes. A most annoying bunch these caped cats what with their long, sad faces and awful off-key yowling, which Betsey assumed was singing of some sort. All of them were sad as they offered their dead comrades to the Gates. Betsey’s eyes narrowed as she discerned quite rightly that these cats and kittens weren’t frauds. Impatiently she waved this last bunch of the day in. Her mood worsened as she watched them look around, first in confusion and then in wonder at the beauty all around them. A couple of them hooked up with old furriends and soon enough they scampered off with their long lost comrades to start their exploration of Rainbow Bridge sights and sounds. It was all a big fat yawn to Betsey. She’d seen it hundreds of times and it bored her almost to tears. Betsey wasn’t the crying kind. Oh no, she just got crabbier, and her crabbiness was at its height when she saw two more cats approaching the Bridge. One was a black and beautiful male with eyes to die for, the other cat was grey, a petite, pretty little thing. They were unescorted by any living cat in a cape. Betsey’s eyes narrowed. Ok, what’s going on here? These two aren’t dead and yet she could see from their thunder-struck faces that unwittingly they had found their way to the Gate somehow. Not good. Betsey rose to her feet to meet the intruders and with a flick of her tail they vanished.
Boots and Lou woke up, confused and dazed. Neither one shared the dream they had just had. There was a bridge, a gate and a bored, grouchy gatekeeper with extraordinary green eyes, eying Boots and Lou with a great deal of suspicion. She had smiled at them briefly, lazily flicked her tail and sent them packing back to the real world of the living and in the process had shaken them to the core. Soon enough though, Lou shrugged at this weirdness and then, not one to dwell on weirdness for long, wondered what was for dinner. Boots puzzled and dazed, found the presence of mind to check in on Mr. and then took off to see her boyfurriend.
(Transferred by Etta) Boots and Lou believed Mr now. Mr dozed off. He was certain it was just a dream. Just a dream! Mr fell asleep and when he woke, he looked around. A black cat was staring at him and it wasn't Lou. "Muggs, what the heck is going on?" He was back at the rainbow bridge!
Mugger wanders over to Kimmy. "This Rainbow Bridge life is boring, I tell you. B.O.R.I.N.G." We seriously need to fix that, Kimmy darling."
Kimmy was delighted to see her old furriend and rushes to air kiss him. 'Mugger! You bad boy. You just couldn't keep away'. She wiggled her hips. 'take me like you've never taken me before'! But she did have to admit, it WAS boring.
Precious looked on horrified. 'What was Kimmy up to and who was this handsome stranger and could she hear DOM DOM DOM in the background?
But Kimmy knew that Mugger would have a plan. He always had a plan ... Mwhahhhhhhhhhaa
"Well, Kimmy my sweet femmey fataley," Mugger said, "I do have a bit of an idea. I'm thinking...." He stood up on his hind legs and threw his front paws out like fabulous jazz hands! "I'm thinking.... HOTEL!!!"
I don't think I'm dead Mr stammers...... But why was he here? Mugger replied, "Maybe somebody whacked you on the head, although your skull is so thick I can't see why that would hurt you, but whatever happened, you seem to have the ability to visit the bridge. You don't really smell dead, except for the farts."
Betsey:
Betsey was grouchy, which wasn't unusual. Ennui (boredom) was an ever-present part of her life. Rainbow Bridge was decidedly a really boring place for her and she was the perpetually sleepy, half-alive resident grouchy gatekeeper. The sight of all these happy, gamboling and totally healthy cats romping amongst the flowers, the brooks and eternally sunshiny days did nothing to improve her grouchiness. Not one cat had ever arrived that had tried to wreak havoc in all this serenity, except maybe Kimmy and Mugger. But even they were looking a bit peaked from all the tranquility. Betsey noticed that they were all lounging about in the sunshine doing nothing much, and they were indeed as bored as she was. Her ears perked up at some of the banter though and her last thoughts as she once again fell into sleep: "Woo Hoo, party time..and I must toss that Mr. out on his ear later. He's not supposed to be here...yet."
Kimmy/Mugger/Mr:
Mr. farted and said, Muggs ol boy it's great to see you. Let's see what trouble we can get into.
Mugger replied, "Mr, just having you here is inspiring me to all sorts of trouble, pffft."
Just as Mr was getting excited about hanging with Mugger, he starts choking and coughing. he closes his eyes and when he opens them he is lying on Moms bed and she just gave him medicine.
Mr rubs his eyes and looks around. Boots and Lou and those obnoxious kitties are there.
ps sorry about technical issues. using a nook.
Mr wonders what is going on.
Betsey:
Betsey peered through the clouds on her heavenly perch, her mood immeasurably improved. Sending back usurpers to the gates of Rainbow Bridge was her specialty and the only part of her job she actually enjoyed. Her eyes softened when she noticed that Mr. wasn't well. Maybe the time wasn't right just yet for a complete crossover, but half-lives...well maybe...Mugger would be happy and so come to think of it would Kimmy and that mischievous Assistant of hers, Precious. Betsey scowled..."You're losing it. What are you thinking? Are you crazy?" "Yeah", was the answer that came back to her. I want to come out and play.
Kimmy/Mugger/Mr:
Mr quickly tells Lou he saw Mugger and Kimmy. Boots comes over at the mention of Kimmy. There was no one better to spar with. Lou and Boots wonder if Mr is delirious.
~July1/2012 entries
Kimmy/MuggerPrecious
Kimmy was delighted to be called a femme fatally and rubbed around Mugger. 'A hotel .... But I am ... Was, a fur dresser. What about a luxury spa and hotel? Posh ... No riff raff.
Kimmy clapped her paws together. That is so divine, like us. Now what shall we call it?
Mugger twitched his whiskers. "Kimmy, you are the doyenne of posh, so of course the hotel/spa will reflect you in the best way possible! I only ask, with respect, that I be allowed a small role. Bellhop, perhaps, because I enjoy meeting new people. I'd offer to manage, but I'm afraid I'm unskilled at that, certainly compared to you! It would be like having a thug in charge of your posh hotel/spa
Hmmm, said Kimmy. You would make a great bell hop, darling. That is a divine idea! Now what shall we call this place? Kimmy crosses her paws and purrs like she does when she wants something, a trick she taught Puss on Shrek.Hmmmm ...
Kimmy's lovely face was full of concentration. Precious tried to think too. She thought Kimmy was so divine.
Hhhmmmm, said Kimmy 'Kimmy's Place?' she suggested rolling over to show her still ample tummy.
Mugger frowned. "Calling it Kimmy's Place might make the ignorant unwashed masses who don't know you think it's not as posh and divine as you really are. What we really need is... something modern yet classic. Something with one word, something easy and unforgettable that conveys exactly how posh and exclusive this place will be." He thought hard for a minute, his tail twitching so fast he almost accidentally poinked away. Then, the glow of enlightenment smacked him right in the face. Once again, he rears up on his hind legs and spreads his forepaws into fabulous jazz hands. "I KNOW!!!!" he yelled. "We'll call it.... The Divine!"
Kimmy pondered for a second, disappointed that it wasn't named after her. Then ... 'oh cos I'm ... Er ... We're divine?! Oh that's divine darling! She gave Mugger a nose kiss.
Mugger wrapped his tail around Kimmy. "Yes, my darling, it's because you are Divine!" Meanwhile, his brain is working overtime. It's not going to be easy maintaining the Kindly Wise Old Morgan Freeman Driving Miss Daisy Crazy Bellhop routine when he had Cary Grant waiting in the wings. (dom dom dom)
Mugger saw that Kimmy was just that little bit disappointed in the name of the hotel. "Sweetheart," he said to her, "Amongst ourselves, we will always refer to The Divine as Kimmy's Divine, if that's all right with you?"
Kimmy was very pleased indeed. She had really missed Mugger. 'I may play the role of Clawdette as my fans miss me. Write that down Precious'. She glanced around to see what cats were about. 'I saw Tuffy the other day. He's in 7th heaven darling. Now where do we start? Shall we send Precious to Ikea, Rainbow Bridge branch? Kimmy glanced at Mugger and noticed how handsome he was. Sort of younger. Death suited him.
Mugger preened under Kimmy's flirtatious glances. "Do you really want Ikea, darling? This is the Rainbow Bridge, we can have any kind of furnishings we want all at the snap of a claw! You want Bauhaus? You got Bauhaus. You want Louie the Whatever, you get Louie the Whatever. You want unicorns, you get unicorns, plus unicorns are delicious!"
Betsey:
Today a lot of cats were crossing the Bridge. They were brought to the Bridge by a bunch of living cats in capes. A most annoying bunch these caped cats what with their long, sad faces and awful off-key yowling, which Betsey assumed was singing of some sort. All of them were sad as they offered their dead comrades to the Gates. Betsey’s eyes narrowed as she discerned quite rightly that these cats and kittens weren’t frauds. Impatiently she waved this last bunch of the day in. Her mood worsened as she watched them look around, first in confusion and then in wonder at the beauty all around them. A couple of them hooked up with old furriends and soon enough they scampered off with their long lost comrades to start their exploration of Rainbow Bridge sights and sounds. It was all a big fat yawn to Betsey. She’d seen it hundreds of times and it bored her almost to tears. Betsey wasn’t the crying kind. Oh no, she just got crabbier, and her crabbiness was at its height when she saw two more cats approaching the Bridge. One was a black and beautiful male with eyes to die for, the other cat was grey, a petite, pretty little thing. They were unescorted by any living cat in a cape. Betsey’s eyes narrowed. Ok, what’s going on here? These two aren’t dead and yet she could see from their thunder-struck faces that unwittingly they had found their way to the Gate somehow. Not good. Betsey rose to her feet to meet the intruders and with a flick of her tail they vanished.
Boots and Lou woke up, confused and dazed. Neither one shared the dream they had just had. There was a bridge, a gate and a bored, grouchy gatekeeper with extraordinary green eyes, eying Boots and Lou with a great deal of suspicion. She had smiled at them briefly, lazily flicked her tail and sent them packing back to the real world of the living and in the process had shaken them to the core. Soon enough though, Lou shrugged at this weirdness and then, not one to dwell on weirdness for long, wondered what was for dinner. Boots puzzled and dazed, found the presence of mind to check in on Mr. and then took off to see her boyfurriend.
(Transferred by Etta) Boots and Lou believed Mr now. Mr dozed off. He was certain it was just a dream. Just a dream! Mr fell asleep and when he woke, he looked around. A black cat was staring at him and it wasn't Lou. "Muggs, what the heck is going on?" He was back at the rainbow bridge!
Editor's Note: the last entry written by Teri. I forgot to mention that when it got transferred. Apologies). ~July 2, 2012 entries
Kimmy wrinkled her tabby spotted nose. Not use Ikea? Well that was a new idea. She had decorated Castle Clydula when she was Clawdette on Clawless and all of it came from Ikea. She even knew the cat-alogue numbers! Still designer might be good! She wasn't used to this rainbow bridge stuff yet.
Kimmy/OldCrone/Mugger:
But hark - what goes there? Kimmy suddenly spied an old familiar face shuffling past. Could it be the Old Crone from Catsylvania - over hill and dale, across ocean and stream, river and rill, and deep into Catsylvania, over the forest, over the torch-lit village, above the howling of the wolves and the neighing of the horses, and finally, to the pinnacle of a mountain? It looked like her. She nudged Mugger who shrugged. Kimmy's voice rose. 'Old Crone - are you the Old Crone from the Village store
The Old Crone pulled her ragged shawl around her and muttered that it was she but that she couldn't be picked on by Kimmy any more. Kimmy nodded. 'Fair enough but could this Crone be of use to them at the new spa?' ( even though she had no apparent charms?)
"What happened to you?" asked Kimmy, curious (after all she was a very old crone). 'I fell on my er, pitchfork' muttered the Old Crone. Kimmy started to giggle.
'What happened to you? Croned Old Crone pointedly? 'Oh I had cosmetic surgery .... went, er wrong' said Kimmy annoyed. ' I can see that' said Old Crone before Kimmy took a flying leap at her and fur flew till Mugger dived in to break them up.
"Ladies! Ladies!" said Mugger. "Fighting should be saved for later, when I'm sure we'll all need the entertainment! For now.... we have a POSH Hotel and Spa to get going! Kimmy... you can decorate this however you want, you are in sole charge of that because The Divine MUST reflect your own poshness. If you want to use Ikea, go right ahead, I never meant to say you shouldn't. In fact, you could decorate every single room in a different way!"
Kimmy spat the old Crone's fur out and whipped out her IKEA CATalogue.
Mr saw Mugger and raced over to him. "Dude! I am back!" Mr still wasn't sure what was going on but he decided to hang with Muggs and raise some hell. Meooooooooowwwwwww.
~July 3, 2012 entries
Kimmy pondered for a while ... OK so her IKEA CAT-alogue was divine in her mind but maybe Mugger was right - they could get the very best for this Spa Hotel and although she WAS the best, maybe ... well ...T
Kimmy/Mugger/Mr./Old Crone:
Suddenly she saw a strange looking cat coming towards her and one she didn't know. Should she roll over and show. him her tummy? Or show him her IKEA catalog? The cat was a strange colour, sort of mauve and he carried an easel on which he was mixing colours and looking at her with narrowed eyes. 'Er, um ... cat. My name is Kimmy and this is my friend Mugger and my purrsonal assistant Precious - and these - she indicated with a paw - are my furriends. Who are you? 'Mi chiamo Catasso, replied the cat. 'Catasso - ? Are you Italian?' 'Ci ... I am Italian ... at our service' he took a bow. Kimmy calculated. 'Was your er, Dad a famous painter?' My father is Picasso the most famous painter of all' replied the funny looking cat whose name was Catasso. Kimmy whistled to the other cats. 'Oy, he's our designer.
Mugger just rolled his eyes, wondering how Kimmy would like her portrait painted as nothing but a bunch of confusing blue boxes with her eyes hanging out in space somewhere. However, he knew he couldn't say that out loud, not if he valued his fur. So instead he said, "Welcome, Catasso! Kimmy, this dude is famous and stuff - the Divine will have superb designs!"
Kimmy wrinkled her tabby spotted nose. Not use Ikea? Well that was a new idea. She had decorated Castle Clydula when she was Clawdette on Clawless and all of it came from Ikea. She even knew the cat-alogue numbers! Still designer might be good! She wasn't used to this rainbow bridge stuff yet.
Kimmy/OldCrone/Mugger:
But hark - what goes there? Kimmy suddenly spied an old familiar face shuffling past. Could it be the Old Crone from Catsylvania - over hill and dale, across ocean and stream, river and rill, and deep into Catsylvania, over the forest, over the torch-lit village, above the howling of the wolves and the neighing of the horses, and finally, to the pinnacle of a mountain? It looked like her. She nudged Mugger who shrugged. Kimmy's voice rose. 'Old Crone - are you the Old Crone from the Village store
The Old Crone pulled her ragged shawl around her and muttered that it was she but that she couldn't be picked on by Kimmy any more. Kimmy nodded. 'Fair enough but could this Crone be of use to them at the new spa?' ( even though she had no apparent charms?)
"What happened to you?" asked Kimmy, curious (after all she was a very old crone). 'I fell on my er, pitchfork' muttered the Old Crone. Kimmy started to giggle.
'What happened to you? Croned Old Crone pointedly? 'Oh I had cosmetic surgery .... went, er wrong' said Kimmy annoyed. ' I can see that' said Old Crone before Kimmy took a flying leap at her and fur flew till Mugger dived in to break them up.
"Ladies! Ladies!" said Mugger. "Fighting should be saved for later, when I'm sure we'll all need the entertainment! For now.... we have a POSH Hotel and Spa to get going! Kimmy... you can decorate this however you want, you are in sole charge of that because The Divine MUST reflect your own poshness. If you want to use Ikea, go right ahead, I never meant to say you shouldn't. In fact, you could decorate every single room in a different way!"
Kimmy spat the old Crone's fur out and whipped out her IKEA CATalogue.
Mr saw Mugger and raced over to him. "Dude! I am back!" Mr still wasn't sure what was going on but he decided to hang with Muggs and raise some hell. Meooooooooowwwwwww.
~July 3, 2012 entries
Kimmy pondered for a while ... OK so her IKEA CAT-alogue was divine in her mind but maybe Mugger was right - they could get the very best for this Spa Hotel and although she WAS the best, maybe ... well ...T
Kimmy/Mugger/Mr./Old Crone:
Suddenly she saw a strange looking cat coming towards her and one she didn't know. Should she roll over and show. him her tummy? Or show him her IKEA catalog? The cat was a strange colour, sort of mauve and he carried an easel on which he was mixing colours and looking at her with narrowed eyes. 'Er, um ... cat. My name is Kimmy and this is my friend Mugger and my purrsonal assistant Precious - and these - she indicated with a paw - are my furriends. Who are you? 'Mi chiamo Catasso, replied the cat. 'Catasso - ? Are you Italian?' 'Ci ... I am Italian ... at our service' he took a bow. Kimmy calculated. 'Was your er, Dad a famous painter?' My father is Picasso the most famous painter of all' replied the funny looking cat whose name was Catasso. Kimmy whistled to the other cats. 'Oy, he's our designer.
Mugger just rolled his eyes, wondering how Kimmy would like her portrait painted as nothing but a bunch of confusing blue boxes with her eyes hanging out in space somewhere. However, he knew he couldn't say that out loud, not if he valued his fur. So instead he said, "Welcome, Catasso! Kimmy, this dude is famous and stuff - the Divine will have superb designs!"
Catasso
grinned in an abstract sort of way. 'Hee hee. I fooled them zat I am
Italian. Je suis Francais!' he shuddered when he saw Kimmy's Ikea
catalogue. 've use colour. No chuck out ze chintz'. He gave a wheezy
laugh and winked at Mugger. 'Ze mademoiselle is tres Jolie n'est pas?'
Kimmy looked baffled but was pleased they had an artiste of Catasso's calibre. She could teach him a thing or two. 'hmmm ... Some chintz maybe?
Catasso got busy with his paint brush and a bowl of fruit. Kimmy and Mugger watched giggling like ... cat
Kimmy, Mugger, Precious, The Old Crone, Betsey and various other cats watched with eager anticipation as Catasso got busy behind a screen. They could hear bangs and wrenches and then the soft sounds of paint being swept across an easel and pencil being scratched on a sketch pad. 'Oh this is going to be divine!' breathed Kimmy excitedly. 'I can see it now ... it wiil be all Tuscan villa with soft sofas everywhere ... so chic!' Mugger made groaning noises beside her but she ignored him, lost as she was in her own little world. 'Maybe some chintz and a little ... bowl for ... whiskas, on tap all day long ...' She sighed happily. And then after what seemed like AGES but was about 2 years ... Catasso reappeared. 'Signorina and er ... Mugger - come!' The cats rushed forward - the screen fell and they saw - a desk with a bell on
- and a bowl of fruit.
Mugger snorted. "And just WHO wants to reside inside a FLAT BOWL OF FRUIT???" he bellowed.
"Let
me explain," said Mugger. "I'll give you an example. I want to
snuggle up inside a black German Panzer tank, a fully functional tank,
with ammunition and everything. Now--do you think you can do that,
Catasso?Kimmy looked baffled but was pleased they had an artiste of Catasso's calibre. She could teach him a thing or two. 'hmmm ... Some chintz maybe?
Catasso got busy with his paint brush and a bowl of fruit. Kimmy and Mugger watched giggling like ... cat
Kimmy, Mugger, Precious, The Old Crone, Betsey and various other cats watched with eager anticipation as Catasso got busy behind a screen. They could hear bangs and wrenches and then the soft sounds of paint being swept across an easel and pencil being scratched on a sketch pad. 'Oh this is going to be divine!' breathed Kimmy excitedly. 'I can see it now ... it wiil be all Tuscan villa with soft sofas everywhere ... so chic!' Mugger made groaning noises beside her but she ignored him, lost as she was in her own little world. 'Maybe some chintz and a little ... bowl for ... whiskas, on tap all day long ...' She sighed happily. And then after what seemed like AGES but was about 2 years ... Catasso reappeared. 'Signorina and er ... Mugger - come!' The cats rushed forward - the screen fell and they saw - a desk with a bell on
- and a bowl of fruit.
Mugger snorted. "And just WHO wants to reside inside a FLAT BOWL OF FRUIT???" he bellowed.
Catasso has a think and then with a grand sweep of his paw and a lot of self important grunting gestures to just behind Mugger. Mugger spins round to find a net curtained, ginger bread house with ickle little furniture and a little pink pathway up to it. Kimmy is aghast - 'It is Divine!' she shrieks.
'Oh darling you are so clever! Now I want a gorgeous little Tuscan villa with some darling little sofas!' A quick movement of Catasso's paw and she sees - An IKEA showroom! 'What the ... still, it is rather lovely' sighed Kimmy happily.
The Old Crone looked blank. This was just too much for her and she began to wish she had never fallen on her own pitch- fork. She turned to run away but Catasso grabbed her by the scruff and directed her to a gorgeous pent house appartment with a row of very young tom cats waiting for her.
You see mon cheries. When they book in they get EXACTLY what their heart desires. All they have to do is wish ...' Catasso puffed his chest with pride and Kimmy fell a tiny bit in love with him.
"So," Mugger asked. "Where is my tank?"
Catasso looked confused 'I am ze genius and you bother me with zis .. how you say it?'
zese are what you call minor deeeeeeeeeeeetails. Catasso waved a paw 'I think zis little gingerbread house will suit signor purrfectly. You philistines do not understand genius until after I is dead. Well now I iz dead'.
"I am not...repeat, NOT... going to live in an ickle wittoh gingerbread house!!!" Mugger shrieked. "You could at least have decorated it with Fancy Feast and Meow Mix you phony Italian twit!"
Catasso reeled in horror. 'You mock the great Catasso? Oh mock me you fool! I say speaky to ze paw...!' He flounced off. Kimmy had always loved a good flounce.
Kimmy spotted an empty IKEA cardboard box and sighed happily. She had to admit a cardboard box was her favourite thing in the whole world, and beyond. How had he known?
Mr watches and decides to go help Mugger get his tank....while he was here.....this time.....
"Hey Muggs" mr yells as he catches up with him. He is hoping Muggar had a fun plan.
"Sorry, Mr," said Mugger. "All I've got is this ickle wittoh gingerbread house. But.... Maybe there's food inside!" Mugger and Mr rushed into the gingerbread house... and then rushed right out again as there was a witch inside. Creeping up to one window, Mugger and Mr peeked cautiously inside. "Drat!" said Mugger. "It's just that stupid Crone. This means I have no place at ALL to live!"
"And the worse part is, " Mugger continued, "She has this gorgeous penthouse, too. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
ll if its gingerbread.....lets eat the house.
"Can cats eat gingerbread?" Mugger asked. "Won't it give us the poopies?"
well we can leave poopies all over for the crone....but i don't want a tummy ache.
"She'd just stick us with her pitchfork," Mugger replied. "No, we're going to have to find some other way to wreak havoc. And I think I know how." Looking around and seeing no one watching them, he clapped his paws together and BOOM!!! There was the tank. A perfect black Panzer tank. "So - you wanna go for a ride? "
Mr had never been more excited. "lets go!"
Mugger and Mr piled into the tank. It was a little cramped inside, plus unless one had the eyes of a cat, one could barely see the two of them... since the inside of the tank was as black as the outside. Fortunately, Mugger was a bit of a simple thinker, so the controls consisted only of a gas pedal, brake, steering wheel, another wheel for rotating the turret, and a big button that said SHOOT. "Now," he said to Mr. "Let's go blow something up. We need a test run first, because trust me--the first non-test run is gonna be that ickle wittoh gingerbread house. Only we have to wait until the Crone is out of it. Any ideas where we should test this thing?"
Well are there any abandoned buildings here? Mr cannot wait until it rains gingerbread!
"Wait," said Mugger. "Ssshhhhh.... " He peered out of the tiny small window of the tank. "I think she's leaving the house." Mr and Mugger watch quietly as the Old Crone slowly makes her way out of the gingerbread house. Once she's safely clear, Mugger and Mr swing the turret around so the big gun is pointed squarely at the gingerbread house. "The heck with a test shot," said Mugger. "And the heck with Catasso!" Mugger slaps his paw down on the SHOOT button. And all the nearby cats on the Bridge heard this: "BLAAAAAM!!!!
Gingerbread was flying everywhere.....
And Mr was flying right after it! Mugger watched in amazement as his friend basically turned into a gingerbread shovel!
Mr holding on to gingerbread....flew right into an Ikea box.
~July 5, 2012 entries
Kimmy woke up in her IKEA cardboard box at the sound of Mugge'Ouch' said Kimmy.r's cannon fire and sighed deeply. She could see the Old Crone brushing what looked like gingerbread off her shabby clothes and Mugger and Mr were driving around in a TANK! 'Oh this feels like old times' she sighed happily.
Kimmy/Mr/Old Crone/ Little Willow/Mugger/Lennox/Betsey
Mr holding on to gingerbread...flew right into an Ikea box.
'Ouch' said Kimmy.
Mr and Kimmy were covered in gingerbread. "sorry kimmy" he mutt
mutters. All of the sudden he looks around and he is back home withboots and lou. Kimmy could not believe it. Mr just disappeared
Kimmy shook her fur and licked her nether regions. This rainbow bridge was a funny place. She called Mugger over and told him to put his gun down. 'Precious, make a note we need to put an advert in The Rainbow Bridge Advertiser, Receptionist wanted for new POSH spa hotel - no riff raff!' Precious scribbled this down and a moment later the Old Crone appeared 'You called ...!?'
Mr tells lou all about his adventure with Mugger.
Little Willow had been down on her luck lately. She got evicted furrom the orphanage because she wasn't little kitten anymore. Technically, she still was. She as a kitten that never aged. But you can only do the "kitten eyes" for so long until people realize that it's not so cute anymore. She was walking down Bridge and Main when suddenly her paw got stuck on chewing gum. Looking for something to wipe it off, she found a mewspaper. She was hard at work getting her messy paw clean when she spotted the ad: "Receptionist wanted for new POSH spa hotel - no riff raff!' . "I can do that! After all, I always help receive all the new orphans in the shelter! A Posh Spa cannot be that much different!". She grabbed her little purrse and headed off to the address, sticky mewspaper in hand..
Kimmy looked in horror at the Old Crone picking at her fleas and chewing baccy in front of her 'surely this wouldn't be the only applicant'. Then she saw the Ickle, baby kitten, the ad stuck to her paw. 'Oh you get the job' she told Willow pushing The Old Crone aside.
The Old Crone cast down her whiskers and to Kimmy's horror began to howl (Ok so she was a cat). ' No one likes me cos I'm old and not cute any more' wailed The Old Crone. Miaow!
Kimmy looked at Mugger and rolled her eyes 'Ok Crone, you get the job too'.
The Old Crone grinned and winked at Mugger.
Kimmy sees Lennox the dog arriving looking very sad. 'Hi Lennox ... We love you here. Party time.' Lennox licked Kimmy's face gratefully.
Willow struts towards Lennox and beams at him. " Nice to meet mew sir! Mew are a celepurrty here in the Bridge! Don't worry, we'll assign a nice comfy room to mew, wif plenty of space! Oh! and don't worry, those mean people who got mew here will NEBBER bpther mew again! They will never set paw...er... foot on Rainbow Bridge or any other version of it. They have reservashuns down there" she said pointing downwards with her purrity little paw and a wink on her face
'Yeah, well said!' said Kimmy. 'Now don't furrget to check him in, nice room!' She glared at the Old Crone who was holding out her autograph book. 'So uncool...'
Maybe Lennox would like to play spin the bottle later ?She looked at Lennox, planning to ask him but saw he looked sad. Most of the pets who came to Rainbow Bridge looked sad for the first few days and then suddenly they got happy again. 'Oh Lennox, don't cry!' said Kimmy (who didn't usually like dogs but liked him).
She looked at Lennox, planning to ask him but saw he looked sad. Most of the pets who came to Rainbow Bridge looked sad for the first few days and then suddenly they got happy again. 'Oh Lennox, don't cry!' said Kimmy (who didn't usually like dogs but liked him).
Lennox hung his head 'Kimmy I am sad because I know now that I am okay but I didn't get to ... say goodbye and my Mum and Dad will be so worried. I know they love me very much and that they will be missing me now and ....' He started crying.
Kimmy wasn't good at the sympathy and she looked around for Betsey. Betsey came running and put a paw around Lennox. 'There there Lennox' said Betsey, 'I am sure that they will take comfort in knowing you are here - with us'. 'But they won't' sighed Lennox. 'They won't know. How could they?'.
Kimmy had a think and grabbed Betsey. 'Ok so it not allowed but I have an idea and you have to give me a guest pass ...' Betsey looked shocked. 'Kimmy no! Rules are rules and you know that we are not ALLOWED'.
'Rubbish' scoffed Kimmy 'We've all been back to viist our Mums and poor Lennox doesn't know how. Let me help him?' Betsey looked at the poor dog in front of her and slowly nodded. 'OK two passes but do NOT stay long!'
So, holding Lennox's paw Kimmy took him through the mist at the end of the Bridge where the LOSCH were always hanging out and waved at a few of them who fell in behind Kimmy and Lennox to give them an escort. Moments later, Kimmy and Lennox(with half a dozen super cat heroes) arrived at Lennox's Belfast house where his Mum was crying by his little, empty bed. Lennox yelped with delight and ran into the room, saw his brother and his family and pushed his little nose into his mum's hand. She gave a cry! 'Lennox!' she shouted and then to the rest of the room 'It's Lennox'. 'No', said the man, 'He has gone'. But Kimmy pushed over his drinking bowl and Lennox grabbed a corner of the bedding and suddenly everyone was staring ... 'Let's give them some time together' whispered Kimmy to the LOSCH and they slipped out. After a few minutes Kimmy crept back in and pulled on Lennox's tail. 'We have to go buddy' Her eyes were full of tears and Lennox looked so happy. His family looked so happy and as Lennox turned to leave he left a little white feather behind so show that an angel had visited their home. Back at the Bridge, Lennox barked his pleasure and licked Kimmy and Betsey. 'Thanks guys. Maybe this won't be so bad after all'.
Mr wondered why he was dreaKimmy called all the cats together. 'We need a party to launch the spa hotel!' The Old Crone looked confused. She had never been to a party in Catsylvania. Was it fun?ming this, or was he dreaming? Lou is feeling jealous because he wants to see Mugger. Mom brings mr his medicine. Oh how gross! Soon he gets sleepy. When he wakes up he is outside the Ikea box. AGAIN? He scampers off to find Mugger or Kimmy.
He encounters a beautiful dog. Mr knowing he is too chubby to eat saunters over to check him out.
Lennox licks him. This Rainbow Bridge is Ok!
Willow dries her eyes with the back of her paw.
~July 6-13, 2012 entries
Kimmy called all the cats together. 'We need a party to launch the spa hotel!' The Old Crone looked confused. She had never been to a party in Catsylvania. Was it fun?
Kimmy/Old Crone/Mr/Lou/Charlie/Betsey/Tex and Marmalade/Willow/Chrissy/Dana Winpur/Mugger
Mr shook his head. "Kimmy i will help if Im here. I seem to go back and forth...or dream.....or..or Mr waddled off shaking his grey head
Meanwhile back at home, Lou was looking for Mr. "Where is he? Lou wanted to know more about Mugger. He wasnt even sure he believed Mr. The old fsrt was probaby senile. Lou sighed and let out a hugh fart. PpppppppppFfffffffffffffff that could be heard all the way to the rainbow bridge
Kimmy shook her head ... It was so annoying when cats were sick. They spent some of their time at The Bridge and some at home getting medicine. She called Betsey over. 'Betsey! What's the point of you being gatekeeper if you keep letting in cats who aren't ready yet?? Now party. Any ideas cats and dogs and er .. Bunny.'
Charlie decides to bounce over and speak to Kimmy about the Party, he feels sure it would the perfect way to introduce himself properly to all the fabulous cats here, he is desperate to make friends, but needs to know Kimmy will protect him in case others are wary of him
Kimmy looks down and sees a lovely little bunny. At one time she'd have considered eating him but on the Bridge they were all friends. 'Hello' she said and Charlie told her his name. Kimmy took his paw and introduced him to Mugger, Precious and Tuffy. 'We're the best ones here so you'll have fun with me and my friends.' The Old Crone coughed. 'hmm ... Most of us are the best ones' sniggered Kimmy. 'Come on and you can meet the others'.
'I am going to make you the bell hop' said Kimmy, 'cos you hop!' She giggled so much that her plump little body shook.
'That sounds great' said Charlie, he was so excited that she had given him a job he started bouncing about in joy. 'Sorry about all that bouncing, I'm just happy I've got some lovely friends already, I was feeling a little lost before' he explained.
Kimmy began to draw up a guest list for the party. Mugger ... Precious... Tuffy... Willow ...She'd get Charlie to hop around delivering the invitatioMR hoped he stayed long enough for the party. He better hide from the gatekeeper.n when they were ready. Oh, she'd better invite the press and Rainbow Bridge Mogue. She frowned when she thought of Dana Winpurr, the super fierce editor.
Tex and Marmalade sat under a leafy oak tree staring up at the sky, white fluffy clouds filled the blue expanse, as they both wondered if they'd ever get an invite to the Supurr Spa, Hotel. "One day we will," Tex murmured, "One day I'll get to see my cuddly Clawdette again!" *SIGH* Marmalade shrugged and offered Tex one of the new Dreamie Snacks... "Don't fret, it'll all work out I'm sure," he added wistfully and nommed some more Dreamies
MR hoped he stayed long enough for the party. He better hide from the gatekeeper.
Willow had never seen such a lavish place in her life, or in her afterlife. The thought of helping organize a purrty fur so many special guests was exciting and daunting at the same time. Food. there should be food, right? but what? All she learned to make in the orphanage was porridge. Brown porridge. Yellow Porridge. Off-White Porridge. Would that impurress Kimmy and the rest? she didn't think so! She sauntered to the library and looked under the cooking section. Jumping up and down the shelves, she found a book by a very tall cat called Julia Kitten, with a nice picture on the cover. She pawed through it, until a nice recipe called her attention. "Cordon Bleu Chicken.... that sure sounds posh!" She decided to take a catnap on the spot, resting her head on her paws, on top of the open book.
Betsey opened one eye, looked around and thought Gatekeeper isn't going to spoil the party. Let the good times roll! ! The Boss is away, the cats, the bunny and ME can play! Rock on ...for now..!
The Old Crone looked at her wardrobe in her spacious penthouse. All she could see were shawls ... Hmmmm ... Would that be suitable for a par-Tay? Or did she need a makeover? What if a handsome tom was there?
Chrissy was a beautiful white cat in life and in death her beauty was timeless. Her aura radiated a bright and heavenly silvery white light. Her eyes as blue as the heavenly sky of Rainbow Bridge were all-seeing and all-knowing Her time on Rainbow Bridge was spent surveying her playground; a playground which stretched far and wide and to infinity and beyond. Rainbow Bridge was her home. Chrissy loved every inch of her home. Ancient though she was; the gleam and the twinkle in her eyes always reflected a sense of mischief and fun. She played with new arrivals. Cats that had been Rainbow cats for a longer time often benefited from her sense of humor and playfulness.
Usually an eternity on Rainbow Bridge was pretty peaceful; a paradise with endless vistas of babbling brooks mixed with lush green fields and the irresistible smell of wild flowers. While all this breath-taking beauty was visible to her eyes; her spirit felt a twinge of something else…a something she couldn’t quite put her paw on. For the longest time now she had been wandering around trying to pinpoint the cause of her uneasiness, but to no avail. Rainbow Bridge still looked good until she passed by the gate. The gate was wide open, and unguarded and Betsey, her sister was no where to be seen. How strange!
Betsey, of course, was having a blast. She was high on cat-nip and endless amounts of food. Letting in some cool musical cats was a highlight for her. They were regaling the party animals with vintage rock and roll. Such fun! She felt so alive, her mood reaching an all-time greatest ever high. She kept her distance from the live cats. If they so much as saw her she would have no choice but to send them back to the real world of the living. That would be sad! These cool cats were having fun too. Betsey grabbed some food and enjoyed her view of cats doing a weird dance called the Conga. Betsey moved to the beat as she munched and thought; it’s about time…
“It’s about time for what, Betsey?” Betsey stopped in mid-twirl and gulped.
“It’s party time at the Bridge, darling!”
“Ok, I get that. Parties are fun, but Betsey, why are all these live cats here? They don’t belong here. ”
“They’re visiting. There’s some kind of loop-hole in Bridge security and they appear to be coming in through their dreams. When the dream ends; they go back…Come Chrissy, dance with me.”
Chrissy’s smile was radiant. “Ok, but just so you know the dream ends at midnight tomorrow.
Betsey grinned. Midnight Tomorrow on the Bridge often lasted forever and ever and ever and ever…..
Little Willow rushed to the Spa. After her nap, she had to double her pace to be able to cater for the party. She whipped a mean Cordon Bleu, a Vole-Au-Vent, Coque Au Vine....everything she could think would sound posh enough. She wanted to impurress her boss Kimmy, because she didn't want to out herself as a fangirl, but back in the Orphanage, she never missed an episode of Clawless. She set the tables and watch everyone help themselves to the scrumptious meals. "Thanks, Julia Kitten!" she thought to herself and winked..
Kimmy looked at the food Willow had provided and smiled happily when she saw Whiskas au vonts. Willow really knew how to keep her happy.
Dana Winpurr, editor supreme of Celestial Mogue, overlady of Heavenly fashion Pawlice and resident meany was beyond herself. She didn't get the chance to attend the opening of a Posh Spa Hotel on rainbow Bridge everyday. This was by far the event of the New Millenium! She decided that nobody but her should cover the event for her magazine. Boy was she ecstatic! So many Faux pas'es! so much camp! "Streamers?! really?! Are we kittens here?!" she whispered through her fangs. "And who cooked these meals?! Did they self-cater??!" She grimaced. Kimmy, noticing there was something oddd with her expurression, approached her in a gingerly manner.Kimmy noted Dana's size zero figure.'Dammit,how did she do it?
It wasn't as if she was Burmese or Siamese or an exotic. Kimmy herself had been disappointed to find after her arrival at The Bridge that although free of any illness and restored to good health, she was still plump. Just a tad. 'Dana,' she said, air kissing. 'So Spanx ... Er lovely Kimmy also nodded at Chrissy and introduced her to Dana Winpurr... Lovely to see you'.
Dana looked at Chrissy and said "I'll have a Tuna Colada". Then, turning back to Kimmy, she spewed "Darling, 1976 called, they want their menu back! Hey... are you purregnant? Can you get pregnant on Rainbow Bridge?" then she took her notepad out and wrote a note to self "Purregnancy OTRB", maybe that was an article worth writing. "Tell me, dear... what gave you the idea to open this place? I want to run a little story about this.... place... And who did you hire to do the decor? And why didn't just go for a purrofessional?AND WHAT IS THAT!!!!???"she yelled, noticing Charlie
Chrissy graciously acknowledged the introduction and smiled benevolently at Kimmy and Dana Winpurr. It also crossed her mind that Kimmy didn't mean a word she was saying..."Lovely to see you?" Chrissy chuckled to herself thinking not a chance!
Kimmy looked at Dana Winpurr and then narrowed her eyes. Now she looked again she realised that Dana was NOT size zero as she first thought - she was considerably larger. She flicked open her copy of Celestial Mogue and looked at the editor shot of Dana and then back to the real thing and then back to the photo. Was it possible that the editor of Celestial Mogue had been photoshopped? Yes, because Dana was a good sized 16 if she was a day yet she seemed unaware of her bulk at she dove into a plate of Vol au Whiskas vents. 'Hmmmm, 1976 indeed' said Kimmy wiggling her not unsubstantial bottom - 'that would be the time when YOU were last thin!' She gigglied. 'I am so glad you like our little spa' she purred. 'It was designed by Catasso the famous painter and designer. Divine isn't it? Geddit - Divine!' Kimmy cackled as Dana nearly choked on Chrissy's Tuna Colada. 'Nice frock Dana ... I had one just like that. When it was in fashion!!'.
Kimmy called Charlie over 'Hop over there Charlie and ensure that Dana Winpurr's plate is NEVER empty.' She wandered off 'Size zero indeed'. What a con!
Mr madehis way around the room snitching food off plates. His chubby body waddled around happly. He wondered why all the fat broads even cared about weight here. He needed to go find Muggs to cause some problems before he woke up back at home. He reached out a paw and took a whole plate. He would share with mugger....if he didnt eat it first. He stold one last
look......he liked em chubby.....
Kimmy used her C phone (cat phone) to sneak a photo of Dana Winpurr's bulging cheeks as she chowed down. That could come in very handy!
Mr came across a few bottles of face masques in the spa. Mmmmmmm. After consulting with mugger on his cell cat phone, he opened the jars slowly. He pulled out the red rage he found while snooping and mixed the dye into the face masques. Oh he hopes he stays long enough to see red stained faces but leaves before he gets his butt kicked. Good idea Muggs ol boy, mr chuckles.
Kimmy shows Dana Winpurr the facilities in the spa. 'we have masques', she said. 'there should be enough for you!' she said cat
Charlie over heard the last remark, and couldn't help but snigger to himself, this place was fab!Although he did hop off quite sharply when Dana shot him a look, he wasn't brave enough to face her without a friend behind him!
The Old Crone had dressed herself up to the nines. OK so she was still wearing a scarf and still had an old crone look about her but she had freely enjoyed the tasty cocktails being passed around by the waiting staff and was feeling giggly enough to throw back her scarf to reveal a little lipstick. She cast her eyes around to see what toms were there and her eyes fell on Mr and Mugger. She puckered up ...
Mugger nudged Mr. "Look at the old crone eyeballing us". The two toms puffed and posed in a what they thought was a tomly pose. "Dare ya to go kiss her" mr said. Mugger pretended not to hear. They needed to figure out how to get these broads to have a face masque. After the place was crawling with red faces they could move on to thenext prank. They sat there preening thinking they looked irresistable...........
Mr fell off his stool and let outa fart. He looked at Mugger and said"geeeze Mugs.....thats gross" gotta blame it on the black cat.....The Old Crone gave them a flirty look. This must be some kind of a mating cry from the two very attractive cats.And the two attractive cats were busy pushing each other mutter
ing "nawwwwe you done it" The Old Crone made sucking noises with her mouth as she'd heard toms liked that but ... Oh hear it came out as a .... Hiss!! HIiissssShe looked up to see Mugger and Mr staring at her, disgust and what else ... Fear? All over their faces (although it might have been shrimp cocktail. Her weird teeth with the two longer ones at the front, side were showing. She really needed to see the Heavenly Dentist.
~July 13-23, 2012 entries
The party at the Bridge, to launch the new spa was going strong. Dana Winpurr had been unable to resist a freebie and had smeared a face masque over her chubby cheeks. Then she lay back and relaxed.
Dana Winpurr/Mr./Mugger
Mr and Mugger were looking around for a good spot. They had lawn chairs and popcorn. The show was about to begin.....
Dana picked up a magazine and read it slowly. 'Oh darling this is sooo 1979' she drawled to Kimmy. Then she pawed a copy of Mogue instead using a very strong lens to see the pics closer. 'Oh mew did that wrong ...' she muttered making a note to fire someone when she got back. 'Am I done yet?' Kimmy rushed over and offered to remove the masque - seconds later the appalling blunder was revealed. Dana Winpurr, Editor in Chief of Celstial Mogue now had a ginger face!
MR and Mugger grabbed their bellies laughing and rolling around after falling off their chairs. Thay were laughing so hard that it took a few minutes before Mugger saw that Mr was gone. "I am kicking his butt!" Mugget was going to have to face the music alone.......if he got caught, that is. Back at home, mr opened his eyes and his mom wondered why he was chuckling.
Mugger ran off in a spray of popcorn.
Kimmy slapped her paw across her mouth. 'Oh no!' (although it was funny)!
Miming and Jazz arrived at the Bridge, escorted as usual by the League ... and were met by Kimmy and co in full party mode ...'Hi Miming and Jazz ... you are just in time'
~July 24, 2012 entries
Tex and Marmalade Plot line Only:
Tex and Marmalade pondered on their predicament, a lot of their furriends had gone over the Rainbow Bridge leaving them behind. Tex was particularly anxious about not seeing his curvaceous Clawdette for a long, long time.
“Why do the good one always go first?” He asked Marmalade who was snacking on another packet of Dreamies.
Marmalade shrugged. “When you num
Kimmy
frowned. Sometimes she hated the rules of Rainbow Bridge. Ok so they
weren't rules as such and the cats (dogs and rabbits) were always very
happy but the rule was NO LIVING CATS could visit the Bridge and that is
why the followers who brought the
cats to the Bridge had to stop before entering and also no animal on
the Bridge could visit earth (although most of the cats ignored this one
and usually paid at least one visit home. Being discovered doing this
could mean banishment but no one ever had been ... had they? Kimmy
creased up her brow?
A little later Kimmy sat on a piece of paper outside her IKEA cardboard box. She was sharing the paper with Precious and Cleokatra. Charlie sat nearby eating a carrot. Kimmy was eating Whiskas and discussing who was the hottest tom on The Bridge. Kimmy reckoned Tuffy, Cleokatra liked Mugger and Precious had a bit of a thing for
Miming. 'It's the ginger' she sighed and Kimmy rolled her eyes as she licked more Whiskas before attending to cleaning her little face. 'We could do with more romance here on Rainbow Bridge' she sighed. 'we're in our prime after all!' she cackled. Charlie blushed. He didn't have a girlfriend but he sort of liked Kimmy ...
Charlie kept munching on his carrot, hoping Kimmy didn't see him blush. He thought to himself, Kimmy must have so many male admirers. He didn't stand a chance...or did he? Charlie kept silently munching on his carrots while he decided on a plan of action. Charlie decided he wouldn't make a move yet, he hadn't known Kimmy that long, and he wasn't that kind of bunny. 'Perhaps if I just follow her round, and be very helpful, she'll see me as more than a friend...' He though to himself 'Yes, that's what I'll do'. He looked at Kimmy out of the corner of his eye, yes she was very beautiful.....
Mr goes waddling by and no one notices. "I guess they let anyone in here
Kimmy gazed over at Tuffy - he was so handsome ...! She thought of Mickey for just a moment and then shrugged. He wasn't here ...
Suddenly there was a misty haze, accompanied by harp music and ... bagpipes? - and when it clears (although not the music) a little tortie cat is seen. She mews with an Ulster mew and Kimmy rushed to greet her. 'What is your name' asked Kimmy. 'Popsi' said the little cat. 'I am called Popsi'. 'Welcome,' said Kimmy.
The Old Crone shuffled forward to reception and Popsi gave a loud mew that sounded more like a growl. The Old Crone jumped and pulled her shawl around her. Kimmy jumped in 'it's Ok Popsi, she isn't as scary as she looks but she's a bit deaf ...' Popsi raised her mew and the Old Crone arched her back. The two cats faced each other off and Kimmy giggled. 'Allow me. Single room in our de luxe spa hotel?' Popsi had no idea but what was that rabbit doing making eyes at Kimmy? This was just too weird. Kimmy pointed to a fur (fake of course) llined basket in a butcher's shop. 'That'll be yours. Lucky thing. I love chicken'. She patted her tum. 'Although I am very slim'. Popsi nodded, still in shock. Had she died and gone to heaven.
~July 30-Aug10, 2012 entries
Kimmy and Precious were busily getting a little salon together. Kimmy's fat little bottom waddled as she laid out towels, soap ... magazines (Celestial Mogue of course), hair driers ...assorted smelly things, brushes and of course the dreaded hair dye, colour - Red Rage. She proudly unveiled a sign outside the front and she and Precious stood back to admire. The Posh Pets Pampering Parlour - Rainbow Bridge Branch. (The PPPP, RBB) Oh joy of joys ... back in business.
~Last entry August 16, 2012
Catasso looked confused 'I am ze genius and you bother me with zis .. how you say it?'
zese are what you call minor deeeeeeeeeeeetails. Catasso waved a paw 'I think zis little gingerbread house will suit signor purrfectly. You philistines do not understand genius until after I is dead. Well now I iz dead'.
"I am not...repeat, NOT... going to live in an ickle wittoh gingerbread house!!!" Mugger shrieked. "You could at least have decorated it with Fancy Feast and Meow Mix you phony Italian twit!"
Catasso reeled in horror. 'You mock the great Catasso? Oh mock me you fool! I say speaky to ze paw...!' He flounced off. Kimmy had always loved a good flounce.
Kimmy spotted an empty IKEA cardboard box and sighed happily. She had to admit a cardboard box was her favourite thing in the whole world, and beyond. How had he known?
Mr watches and decides to go help Mugger get his tank....while he was here.....this time.....
"Hey Muggs" mr yells as he catches up with him. He is hoping Muggar had a fun plan.
"Sorry, Mr," said Mugger. "All I've got is this ickle wittoh gingerbread house. But.... Maybe there's food inside!" Mugger and Mr rushed into the gingerbread house... and then rushed right out again as there was a witch inside. Creeping up to one window, Mugger and Mr peeked cautiously inside. "Drat!" said Mugger. "It's just that stupid Crone. This means I have no place at ALL to live!"
"And the worse part is, " Mugger continued, "She has this gorgeous penthouse, too. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
ll if its gingerbread.....lets eat the house.
"Can cats eat gingerbread?" Mugger asked. "Won't it give us the poopies?"
well we can leave poopies all over for the crone....but i don't want a tummy ache.
"She'd just stick us with her pitchfork," Mugger replied. "No, we're going to have to find some other way to wreak havoc. And I think I know how." Looking around and seeing no one watching them, he clapped his paws together and BOOM!!! There was the tank. A perfect black Panzer tank. "So - you wanna go for a ride? "
Mr had never been more excited. "lets go!"
Mugger and Mr piled into the tank. It was a little cramped inside, plus unless one had the eyes of a cat, one could barely see the two of them... since the inside of the tank was as black as the outside. Fortunately, Mugger was a bit of a simple thinker, so the controls consisted only of a gas pedal, brake, steering wheel, another wheel for rotating the turret, and a big button that said SHOOT. "Now," he said to Mr. "Let's go blow something up. We need a test run first, because trust me--the first non-test run is gonna be that ickle wittoh gingerbread house. Only we have to wait until the Crone is out of it. Any ideas where we should test this thing?"
Well are there any abandoned buildings here? Mr cannot wait until it rains gingerbread!
"Wait," said Mugger. "Ssshhhhh.... " He peered out of the tiny small window of the tank. "I think she's leaving the house." Mr and Mugger watch quietly as the Old Crone slowly makes her way out of the gingerbread house. Once she's safely clear, Mugger and Mr swing the turret around so the big gun is pointed squarely at the gingerbread house. "The heck with a test shot," said Mugger. "And the heck with Catasso!" Mugger slaps his paw down on the SHOOT button. And all the nearby cats on the Bridge heard this: "BLAAAAAM!!!!
Gingerbread was flying everywhere.....
And Mr was flying right after it! Mugger watched in amazement as his friend basically turned into a gingerbread shovel!
Mr holding on to gingerbread....flew right into an Ikea box.
~July 5, 2012 entries
Kimmy woke up in her IKEA cardboard box at the sound of Mugge'Ouch' said Kimmy.r's cannon fire and sighed deeply. She could see the Old Crone brushing what looked like gingerbread off her shabby clothes and Mugger and Mr were driving around in a TANK! 'Oh this feels like old times' she sighed happily.
Kimmy/Mr/Old Crone/ Little Willow/Mugger/Lennox/Betsey
Mr holding on to gingerbread...flew right into an Ikea box.
'Ouch' said Kimmy.
Mr and Kimmy were covered in gingerbread. "sorry kimmy" he mutt
mutters. All of the sudden he looks around and he is back home withboots and lou. Kimmy could not believe it. Mr just disappeared
Kimmy shook her fur and licked her nether regions. This rainbow bridge was a funny place. She called Mugger over and told him to put his gun down. 'Precious, make a note we need to put an advert in The Rainbow Bridge Advertiser, Receptionist wanted for new POSH spa hotel - no riff raff!' Precious scribbled this down and a moment later the Old Crone appeared 'You called ...!?'
Mr tells lou all about his adventure with Mugger.
Little Willow had been down on her luck lately. She got evicted furrom the orphanage because she wasn't little kitten anymore. Technically, she still was. She as a kitten that never aged. But you can only do the "kitten eyes" for so long until people realize that it's not so cute anymore. She was walking down Bridge and Main when suddenly her paw got stuck on chewing gum. Looking for something to wipe it off, she found a mewspaper. She was hard at work getting her messy paw clean when she spotted the ad: "Receptionist wanted for new POSH spa hotel - no riff raff!' . "I can do that! After all, I always help receive all the new orphans in the shelter! A Posh Spa cannot be that much different!". She grabbed her little purrse and headed off to the address, sticky mewspaper in hand..
Kimmy looked in horror at the Old Crone picking at her fleas and chewing baccy in front of her 'surely this wouldn't be the only applicant'. Then she saw the Ickle, baby kitten, the ad stuck to her paw. 'Oh you get the job' she told Willow pushing The Old Crone aside.
The Old Crone cast down her whiskers and to Kimmy's horror began to howl (Ok so she was a cat). ' No one likes me cos I'm old and not cute any more' wailed The Old Crone. Miaow!
Kimmy looked at Mugger and rolled her eyes 'Ok Crone, you get the job too'.
The Old Crone grinned and winked at Mugger.
Kimmy sees Lennox the dog arriving looking very sad. 'Hi Lennox ... We love you here. Party time.' Lennox licked Kimmy's face gratefully.
Willow struts towards Lennox and beams at him. " Nice to meet mew sir! Mew are a celepurrty here in the Bridge! Don't worry, we'll assign a nice comfy room to mew, wif plenty of space! Oh! and don't worry, those mean people who got mew here will NEBBER bpther mew again! They will never set paw...er... foot on Rainbow Bridge or any other version of it. They have reservashuns down there" she said pointing downwards with her purrity little paw and a wink on her face
'Yeah, well said!' said Kimmy. 'Now don't furrget to check him in, nice room!' She glared at the Old Crone who was holding out her autograph book. 'So uncool...'
Maybe Lennox would like to play spin the bottle later ?She looked at Lennox, planning to ask him but saw he looked sad. Most of the pets who came to Rainbow Bridge looked sad for the first few days and then suddenly they got happy again. 'Oh Lennox, don't cry!' said Kimmy (who didn't usually like dogs but liked him).
She looked at Lennox, planning to ask him but saw he looked sad. Most of the pets who came to Rainbow Bridge looked sad for the first few days and then suddenly they got happy again. 'Oh Lennox, don't cry!' said Kimmy (who didn't usually like dogs but liked him).
Lennox hung his head 'Kimmy I am sad because I know now that I am okay but I didn't get to ... say goodbye and my Mum and Dad will be so worried. I know they love me very much and that they will be missing me now and ....' He started crying.
Kimmy wasn't good at the sympathy and she looked around for Betsey. Betsey came running and put a paw around Lennox. 'There there Lennox' said Betsey, 'I am sure that they will take comfort in knowing you are here - with us'. 'But they won't' sighed Lennox. 'They won't know. How could they?'.
Kimmy had a think and grabbed Betsey. 'Ok so it not allowed but I have an idea and you have to give me a guest pass ...' Betsey looked shocked. 'Kimmy no! Rules are rules and you know that we are not ALLOWED'.
'Rubbish' scoffed Kimmy 'We've all been back to viist our Mums and poor Lennox doesn't know how. Let me help him?' Betsey looked at the poor dog in front of her and slowly nodded. 'OK two passes but do NOT stay long!'
So, holding Lennox's paw Kimmy took him through the mist at the end of the Bridge where the LOSCH were always hanging out and waved at a few of them who fell in behind Kimmy and Lennox to give them an escort. Moments later, Kimmy and Lennox(with half a dozen super cat heroes) arrived at Lennox's Belfast house where his Mum was crying by his little, empty bed. Lennox yelped with delight and ran into the room, saw his brother and his family and pushed his little nose into his mum's hand. She gave a cry! 'Lennox!' she shouted and then to the rest of the room 'It's Lennox'. 'No', said the man, 'He has gone'. But Kimmy pushed over his drinking bowl and Lennox grabbed a corner of the bedding and suddenly everyone was staring ... 'Let's give them some time together' whispered Kimmy to the LOSCH and they slipped out. After a few minutes Kimmy crept back in and pulled on Lennox's tail. 'We have to go buddy' Her eyes were full of tears and Lennox looked so happy. His family looked so happy and as Lennox turned to leave he left a little white feather behind so show that an angel had visited their home. Back at the Bridge, Lennox barked his pleasure and licked Kimmy and Betsey. 'Thanks guys. Maybe this won't be so bad after all'.
Mr wondered why he was dreaKimmy called all the cats together. 'We need a party to launch the spa hotel!' The Old Crone looked confused. She had never been to a party in Catsylvania. Was it fun?ming this, or was he dreaming? Lou is feeling jealous because he wants to see Mugger. Mom brings mr his medicine. Oh how gross! Soon he gets sleepy. When he wakes up he is outside the Ikea box. AGAIN? He scampers off to find Mugger or Kimmy.
He encounters a beautiful dog. Mr knowing he is too chubby to eat saunters over to check him out.
Lennox licks him. This Rainbow Bridge is Ok!
Willow dries her eyes with the back of her paw.
~July 6-13, 2012 entries
Kimmy called all the cats together. 'We need a party to launch the spa hotel!' The Old Crone looked confused. She had never been to a party in Catsylvania. Was it fun?
Kimmy/Old Crone/Mr/Lou/Charlie/Betsey/Tex and Marmalade/Willow/Chrissy/Dana Winpur/Mugger
Mr shook his head. "Kimmy i will help if Im here. I seem to go back and forth...or dream.....or..or Mr waddled off shaking his grey head
Meanwhile back at home, Lou was looking for Mr. "Where is he? Lou wanted to know more about Mugger. He wasnt even sure he believed Mr. The old fsrt was probaby senile. Lou sighed and let out a hugh fart. PpppppppppFfffffffffffffff that could be heard all the way to the rainbow bridge
Kimmy shook her head ... It was so annoying when cats were sick. They spent some of their time at The Bridge and some at home getting medicine. She called Betsey over. 'Betsey! What's the point of you being gatekeeper if you keep letting in cats who aren't ready yet?? Now party. Any ideas cats and dogs and er .. Bunny.'
Charlie decides to bounce over and speak to Kimmy about the Party, he feels sure it would the perfect way to introduce himself properly to all the fabulous cats here, he is desperate to make friends, but needs to know Kimmy will protect him in case others are wary of him
Kimmy looks down and sees a lovely little bunny. At one time she'd have considered eating him but on the Bridge they were all friends. 'Hello' she said and Charlie told her his name. Kimmy took his paw and introduced him to Mugger, Precious and Tuffy. 'We're the best ones here so you'll have fun with me and my friends.' The Old Crone coughed. 'hmm ... Most of us are the best ones' sniggered Kimmy. 'Come on and you can meet the others'.
'I am going to make you the bell hop' said Kimmy, 'cos you hop!' She giggled so much that her plump little body shook.
'That sounds great' said Charlie, he was so excited that she had given him a job he started bouncing about in joy. 'Sorry about all that bouncing, I'm just happy I've got some lovely friends already, I was feeling a little lost before' he explained.
Kimmy began to draw up a guest list for the party. Mugger ... Precious... Tuffy... Willow ...She'd get Charlie to hop around delivering the invitatioMR hoped he stayed long enough for the party. He better hide from the gatekeeper.n when they were ready. Oh, she'd better invite the press and Rainbow Bridge Mogue. She frowned when she thought of Dana Winpurr, the super fierce editor.
Tex and Marmalade sat under a leafy oak tree staring up at the sky, white fluffy clouds filled the blue expanse, as they both wondered if they'd ever get an invite to the Supurr Spa, Hotel. "One day we will," Tex murmured, "One day I'll get to see my cuddly Clawdette again!" *SIGH* Marmalade shrugged and offered Tex one of the new Dreamie Snacks... "Don't fret, it'll all work out I'm sure," he added wistfully and nommed some more Dreamies
MR hoped he stayed long enough for the party. He better hide from the gatekeeper.
Willow had never seen such a lavish place in her life, or in her afterlife. The thought of helping organize a purrty fur so many special guests was exciting and daunting at the same time. Food. there should be food, right? but what? All she learned to make in the orphanage was porridge. Brown porridge. Yellow Porridge. Off-White Porridge. Would that impurress Kimmy and the rest? she didn't think so! She sauntered to the library and looked under the cooking section. Jumping up and down the shelves, she found a book by a very tall cat called Julia Kitten, with a nice picture on the cover. She pawed through it, until a nice recipe called her attention. "Cordon Bleu Chicken.... that sure sounds posh!" She decided to take a catnap on the spot, resting her head on her paws, on top of the open book.
Betsey opened one eye, looked around and thought Gatekeeper isn't going to spoil the party. Let the good times roll! ! The Boss is away, the cats, the bunny and ME can play! Rock on ...for now..!
The Old Crone looked at her wardrobe in her spacious penthouse. All she could see were shawls ... Hmmmm ... Would that be suitable for a par-Tay? Or did she need a makeover? What if a handsome tom was there?
Chrissy was a beautiful white cat in life and in death her beauty was timeless. Her aura radiated a bright and heavenly silvery white light. Her eyes as blue as the heavenly sky of Rainbow Bridge were all-seeing and all-knowing Her time on Rainbow Bridge was spent surveying her playground; a playground which stretched far and wide and to infinity and beyond. Rainbow Bridge was her home. Chrissy loved every inch of her home. Ancient though she was; the gleam and the twinkle in her eyes always reflected a sense of mischief and fun. She played with new arrivals. Cats that had been Rainbow cats for a longer time often benefited from her sense of humor and playfulness.
Usually an eternity on Rainbow Bridge was pretty peaceful; a paradise with endless vistas of babbling brooks mixed with lush green fields and the irresistible smell of wild flowers. While all this breath-taking beauty was visible to her eyes; her spirit felt a twinge of something else…a something she couldn’t quite put her paw on. For the longest time now she had been wandering around trying to pinpoint the cause of her uneasiness, but to no avail. Rainbow Bridge still looked good until she passed by the gate. The gate was wide open, and unguarded and Betsey, her sister was no where to be seen. How strange!
Betsey, of course, was having a blast. She was high on cat-nip and endless amounts of food. Letting in some cool musical cats was a highlight for her. They were regaling the party animals with vintage rock and roll. Such fun! She felt so alive, her mood reaching an all-time greatest ever high. She kept her distance from the live cats. If they so much as saw her she would have no choice but to send them back to the real world of the living. That would be sad! These cool cats were having fun too. Betsey grabbed some food and enjoyed her view of cats doing a weird dance called the Conga. Betsey moved to the beat as she munched and thought; it’s about time…
“It’s about time for what, Betsey?” Betsey stopped in mid-twirl and gulped.
“It’s party time at the Bridge, darling!”
“Ok, I get that. Parties are fun, but Betsey, why are all these live cats here? They don’t belong here. ”
“They’re visiting. There’s some kind of loop-hole in Bridge security and they appear to be coming in through their dreams. When the dream ends; they go back…Come Chrissy, dance with me.”
Chrissy’s smile was radiant. “Ok, but just so you know the dream ends at midnight tomorrow.
Betsey grinned. Midnight Tomorrow on the Bridge often lasted forever and ever and ever and ever…..
Little Willow rushed to the Spa. After her nap, she had to double her pace to be able to cater for the party. She whipped a mean Cordon Bleu, a Vole-Au-Vent, Coque Au Vine....everything she could think would sound posh enough. She wanted to impurress her boss Kimmy, because she didn't want to out herself as a fangirl, but back in the Orphanage, she never missed an episode of Clawless. She set the tables and watch everyone help themselves to the scrumptious meals. "Thanks, Julia Kitten!" she thought to herself and winked..
Kimmy looked at the food Willow had provided and smiled happily when she saw Whiskas au vonts. Willow really knew how to keep her happy.
Dana Winpurr, editor supreme of Celestial Mogue, overlady of Heavenly fashion Pawlice and resident meany was beyond herself. She didn't get the chance to attend the opening of a Posh Spa Hotel on rainbow Bridge everyday. This was by far the event of the New Millenium! She decided that nobody but her should cover the event for her magazine. Boy was she ecstatic! So many Faux pas'es! so much camp! "Streamers?! really?! Are we kittens here?!" she whispered through her fangs. "And who cooked these meals?! Did they self-cater??!" She grimaced. Kimmy, noticing there was something oddd with her expurression, approached her in a gingerly manner.Kimmy noted Dana's size zero figure.'Dammit,how did she do it?
It wasn't as if she was Burmese or Siamese or an exotic. Kimmy herself had been disappointed to find after her arrival at The Bridge that although free of any illness and restored to good health, she was still plump. Just a tad. 'Dana,' she said, air kissing. 'So Spanx ... Er lovely Kimmy also nodded at Chrissy and introduced her to Dana Winpurr... Lovely to see you'.
Dana looked at Chrissy and said "I'll have a Tuna Colada". Then, turning back to Kimmy, she spewed "Darling, 1976 called, they want their menu back! Hey... are you purregnant? Can you get pregnant on Rainbow Bridge?" then she took her notepad out and wrote a note to self "Purregnancy OTRB", maybe that was an article worth writing. "Tell me, dear... what gave you the idea to open this place? I want to run a little story about this.... place... And who did you hire to do the decor? And why didn't just go for a purrofessional?AND WHAT IS THAT!!!!???"she yelled, noticing Charlie
Chrissy graciously acknowledged the introduction and smiled benevolently at Kimmy and Dana Winpurr. It also crossed her mind that Kimmy didn't mean a word she was saying..."Lovely to see you?" Chrissy chuckled to herself thinking not a chance!
Kimmy looked at Dana Winpurr and then narrowed her eyes. Now she looked again she realised that Dana was NOT size zero as she first thought - she was considerably larger. She flicked open her copy of Celestial Mogue and looked at the editor shot of Dana and then back to the real thing and then back to the photo. Was it possible that the editor of Celestial Mogue had been photoshopped? Yes, because Dana was a good sized 16 if she was a day yet she seemed unaware of her bulk at she dove into a plate of Vol au Whiskas vents. 'Hmmmm, 1976 indeed' said Kimmy wiggling her not unsubstantial bottom - 'that would be the time when YOU were last thin!' She gigglied. 'I am so glad you like our little spa' she purred. 'It was designed by Catasso the famous painter and designer. Divine isn't it? Geddit - Divine!' Kimmy cackled as Dana nearly choked on Chrissy's Tuna Colada. 'Nice frock Dana ... I had one just like that. When it was in fashion!!'.
Kimmy called Charlie over 'Hop over there Charlie and ensure that Dana Winpurr's plate is NEVER empty.' She wandered off 'Size zero indeed'. What a con!
Mr madehis way around the room snitching food off plates. His chubby body waddled around happly. He wondered why all the fat broads even cared about weight here. He needed to go find Muggs to cause some problems before he woke up back at home. He reached out a paw and took a whole plate. He would share with mugger....if he didnt eat it first. He stold one last
look......he liked em chubby.....
Kimmy used her C phone (cat phone) to sneak a photo of Dana Winpurr's bulging cheeks as she chowed down. That could come in very handy!
Mr came across a few bottles of face masques in the spa. Mmmmmmm. After consulting with mugger on his cell cat phone, he opened the jars slowly. He pulled out the red rage he found while snooping and mixed the dye into the face masques. Oh he hopes he stays long enough to see red stained faces but leaves before he gets his butt kicked. Good idea Muggs ol boy, mr chuckles.
Kimmy shows Dana Winpurr the facilities in the spa. 'we have masques', she said. 'there should be enough for you!' she said cat
Charlie over heard the last remark, and couldn't help but snigger to himself, this place was fab!Although he did hop off quite sharply when Dana shot him a look, he wasn't brave enough to face her without a friend behind him!
The Old Crone had dressed herself up to the nines. OK so she was still wearing a scarf and still had an old crone look about her but she had freely enjoyed the tasty cocktails being passed around by the waiting staff and was feeling giggly enough to throw back her scarf to reveal a little lipstick. She cast her eyes around to see what toms were there and her eyes fell on Mr and Mugger. She puckered up ...
Mugger nudged Mr. "Look at the old crone eyeballing us". The two toms puffed and posed in a what they thought was a tomly pose. "Dare ya to go kiss her" mr said. Mugger pretended not to hear. They needed to figure out how to get these broads to have a face masque. After the place was crawling with red faces they could move on to thenext prank. They sat there preening thinking they looked irresistable...........
Mr fell off his stool and let outa fart. He looked at Mugger and said"geeeze Mugs.....thats gross" gotta blame it on the black cat.....The Old Crone gave them a flirty look. This must be some kind of a mating cry from the two very attractive cats.And the two attractive cats were busy pushing each other mutter
ing "nawwwwe you done it" The Old Crone made sucking noises with her mouth as she'd heard toms liked that but ... Oh hear it came out as a .... Hiss!! HIiissssShe looked up to see Mugger and Mr staring at her, disgust and what else ... Fear? All over their faces (although it might have been shrimp cocktail. Her weird teeth with the two longer ones at the front, side were showing. She really needed to see the Heavenly Dentist.
~July 13-23, 2012 entries
The party at the Bridge, to launch the new spa was going strong. Dana Winpurr had been unable to resist a freebie and had smeared a face masque over her chubby cheeks. Then she lay back and relaxed.
Dana Winpurr/Mr./Mugger
Mr and Mugger were looking around for a good spot. They had lawn chairs and popcorn. The show was about to begin.....
Dana picked up a magazine and read it slowly. 'Oh darling this is sooo 1979' she drawled to Kimmy. Then she pawed a copy of Mogue instead using a very strong lens to see the pics closer. 'Oh mew did that wrong ...' she muttered making a note to fire someone when she got back. 'Am I done yet?' Kimmy rushed over and offered to remove the masque - seconds later the appalling blunder was revealed. Dana Winpurr, Editor in Chief of Celstial Mogue now had a ginger face!
MR and Mugger grabbed their bellies laughing and rolling around after falling off their chairs. Thay were laughing so hard that it took a few minutes before Mugger saw that Mr was gone. "I am kicking his butt!" Mugget was going to have to face the music alone.......if he got caught, that is. Back at home, mr opened his eyes and his mom wondered why he was chuckling.
Mugger ran off in a spray of popcorn.
Kimmy slapped her paw across her mouth. 'Oh no!' (although it was funny)!
Miming and Jazz arrived at the Bridge, escorted as usual by the League ... and were met by Kimmy and co in full party mode ...'Hi Miming and Jazz ... you are just in time'
~July 24, 2012 entries
Tex and Marmalade Plot line Only:
Tex and Marmalade pondered on their predicament, a lot of their furriends had gone over the Rainbow Bridge leaving them behind. Tex was particularly anxious about not seeing his curvaceous Clawdette for a long, long time.
“Why do the good one always go first?” He asked Marmalade who was snacking on another packet of Dreamies.
Marmalade shrugged. “When you num
bers up, it’s up!”
“That’s not good enough!” Tex spat angrily. “There must be away to see everyone again… without, you know… having to check out yourself…”
Marmalade looked at him suddenly, his eyes were like saucers, wide and almost scary.
“Jeez dude, don’t look at me like that, you’re freaking me out!” Tex snapped. “I’m going to go and get some premium ‘Nip, I need to chill, seriously!”
Marmalade gulped the mouthful of Dreamies and grabbed Tex’s arm suddenly.
“My furriend, in fact my only furriend in the entire world, I’ve just come up with a solution!” He said with a grin that wide it would have put the Cheshire Cat to shame.
“That’s not good enough!” Tex spat angrily. “There must be away to see everyone again… without, you know… having to check out yourself…”
Marmalade looked at him suddenly, his eyes were like saucers, wide and almost scary.
“Jeez dude, don’t look at me like that, you’re freaking me out!” Tex snapped. “I’m going to go and get some premium ‘Nip, I need to chill, seriously!”
Marmalade gulped the mouthful of Dreamies and grabbed Tex’s arm suddenly.
“My furriend, in fact my only furriend in the entire world, I’ve just come up with a solution!” He said with a grin that wide it would have put the Cheshire Cat to shame.
It
was hot, stifling in fact and brightly coloured insects were buzzing
everywhere. The butterflies were the size of, well let’s just say they
were huge! Even the spiders that big, Tex was convinced they must be on
steroids.
Tex wielded the machete like a pro, while Marmalade followed at a safe distance, those things were flipping sharp and lethal.
“So tell me again, where are we headed?” Tex asked, taking a sip of water from his canteen and wiping his forehead with a bit of old cloth.
“North, we’re headed north, when we get to the waterfall we head due east.” Marmalade answered checking his clingfilm wrapped map and trying to use his GPS in the dense jungle.
Tex shook his head in dismay. “I told you to hire a guide in Cusco, we could have even found someone at the airport when we landed in Peru, but you said no; it’ll be an adventure, I can navigate, trust me!”
“Well how was I supposed to know that the jungle was this dense!” Countered Marmalade irately, staring straight up through the tree canopy, trying to locate the sun.
“It’s nearly as dense as you!” Tex murmured under his breath.
“And just look at my fur, it’s gone all frizzy, this humidity is a nightmare, plus I didn’t bring any Slicko -Pomade, I just look like a frizzball!” Marmalade whinged after his efforts to locate the sun failed.
Tex wielded the machete like a pro, while Marmalade followed at a safe distance, those things were flipping sharp and lethal.
“So tell me again, where are we headed?” Tex asked, taking a sip of water from his canteen and wiping his forehead with a bit of old cloth.
“North, we’re headed north, when we get to the waterfall we head due east.” Marmalade answered checking his clingfilm wrapped map and trying to use his GPS in the dense jungle.
Tex shook his head in dismay. “I told you to hire a guide in Cusco, we could have even found someone at the airport when we landed in Peru, but you said no; it’ll be an adventure, I can navigate, trust me!”
“Well how was I supposed to know that the jungle was this dense!” Countered Marmalade irately, staring straight up through the tree canopy, trying to locate the sun.
“It’s nearly as dense as you!” Tex murmured under his breath.
“And just look at my fur, it’s gone all frizzy, this humidity is a nightmare, plus I didn’t bring any Slicko -Pomade, I just look like a frizzball!” Marmalade whinged after his efforts to locate the sun failed.
A
short while later Tex hacked his way into a small clearing. There was a
big rock in the centre and he sat down with a heavy sigh. The sky was
darkening and the night was closing in very fast.
“Well I suppose we’d make camp for the night and see what happens in the morning.” He said, slipping his back-pack off.
Marmalade did the same and pulled out a hammock and mozzie net and tried to rig it up between two trees. He jumped in it and promptly rolled off the other side.
Tex shook his head wearily; it had been a long day. “Let me help you.”
He held the hammock while Marmalade climbed in with all the grace of a mountaineering pot-bellied pig.
Tex made a small camp fire and sat idly poking the flames with a stick. The jungle really came to life at night and noises were quite terrifying. He thought that parts of London were positively feral, but this place took it to an all new level.
All of a sudden there was a ferocious roar and the trees began to shake as the monkeys made a hasty retreat into the darkness.
The roar sounded again, Marmalade whimpered and rolled over in his hammock getting himself caught in a cloth cocoon. Tex leapt to his feet and brandished not one but two machetes, scanning the jungle for the source of the sound.
Seconds later there was an almighty crash through the foliage and huge black shape landed just the other side of the camp fire.
“Well I suppose we’d make camp for the night and see what happens in the morning.” He said, slipping his back-pack off.
Marmalade did the same and pulled out a hammock and mozzie net and tried to rig it up between two trees. He jumped in it and promptly rolled off the other side.
Tex shook his head wearily; it had been a long day. “Let me help you.”
He held the hammock while Marmalade climbed in with all the grace of a mountaineering pot-bellied pig.
Tex made a small camp fire and sat idly poking the flames with a stick. The jungle really came to life at night and noises were quite terrifying. He thought that parts of London were positively feral, but this place took it to an all new level.
All of a sudden there was a ferocious roar and the trees began to shake as the monkeys made a hasty retreat into the darkness.
The roar sounded again, Marmalade whimpered and rolled over in his hammock getting himself caught in a cloth cocoon. Tex leapt to his feet and brandished not one but two machetes, scanning the jungle for the source of the sound.
Seconds later there was an almighty crash through the foliage and huge black shape landed just the other side of the camp fire.
The
jungle was suddenly eerily quiet. Not a sound, not even a murmur. The
tension was growing exponentially moment by moment. Tick-Tock.
Tick-Tock. Tex’s heartbeat hammered in his chest faster than any jungle
drums knew how to, as he blinked in the softly glimmering fire light.
The huge looming shadow towered over him from the opposite side of the
small camp fire.“Jeez!” Was all he could manage to say as he brandished his machetes as menacingly as possible. “Whhat the…?”The
shape moved closer and Tex edged away, Marmalade was still trapped in
his self-imposed cloth cocoon prison sensed the fear and whimpered
softly.Tex
gulped and made an executive decision as Marmalade was otherwise
incapacitated and wouldn’t have been much use even if he wasn’t trussed
up like a Christmas turkey, and that was to throw all caution to wind.
He leapt forward, his ear-splitting war cry echoing around the clearing
like a Banshees death scream, soaring over the fire his machete blades
glinted with flashes of red and gold as he somersaulted headfirst and
landed with a soft thud on the dry dusty ground just in front of the
immense Blackness.He
crouched down, blades up and waited for the inevitable but nothing
happened, just silence for a few moments and then he heard what sounded
like someone eating celery very quickly. Crunch… crunch…crunch… crunch…
crunch… crunch… and the huge figure stepped into the gently glowing
light.In
the meantime, Marmalade had wriggled that much, he managed to get a paw
free and pulled the fabric away from one eye, he peeked out cautiously
and that’s when he saw it. He stared in horrified fascination, wanting
desperately to look away but was totally transfixed as the scene
unfolded.
Tex
screamed, which put his Banshee war cry to shame and fell flat on his
bum, dropping the machetes and stared up into the shining yellow eyes
of the biggest blackest jaguar in the entire cosmos.
Tex
gasped as he peered up at the big black Jaguar. The earth was soft and
slightly sandy as he tried to scoot backwards until he was trapped
between the flames and his assailant.
Marmalade waved a paw and called out to Tex. “Coooeeeeee!”
Tex stared into the gleaming yellow eyes, not daring to look away and replied firmly but evenly. “Marmalade, now is really NOT a good time!”
Marmalade harrumphed and called backed irately. “Tex, that is Shaman Inca Jaguar or SIJ for short, he’s our contact!”
Tex broke eye contact with Sij and glared at Marmalade. “This is our contact?” He asked pointing a paw up at Sij.
“Yes, Tex that’s our contact.” Marmalade answered.
“Then why didn’t you say something before I went all Ninja?” Tex snapped back, giving Sij an apologetic smile.
“That was probably because I was stuck in this damn flipping hammock and couldn’t see!” Marmalade retorted, adding. “And if you could see your way to helping me out I would be very grateful.”
Sij turned and saw the cocooned Marmalade and smiled, a big pointy tooth smile, his teeth were huge and so very white. Tex gulped hard and edged uncertainly away.
Marmalade waved frantically at Sij who in one effortless leap had closed the distance between them. “Hi Sij,” he said nervously and began to ramble. “Great to see you again buddy, you’ve grown a lot since I last saw you, a helluva of lot, you’re flipping huge! How’s the Shamaning business treating you? And what on earth are you eating?”
Sij chuckled before replying in his heavy accent. “Marmalade my old furriend, it’s been too long!” He flicked a deadly looking claw out and expertly slashed the ties that bound his furriend up tighter than a turkey at Thanks Giving.
Marmalade fell to the ground with a whump and rolled over, got up quickly and dusted himself down. He extended his paw, but Sij pulled him in for a hug. Marmalade tried to extend his paws around his furriend but didn’t get any further than Sij’s muscular shoulders.
“Jeez buddy, what have you been eating, you are some serious size now?”
“A bit of this and a bit of that!” Sij chuckled again. “Remember I was only a Cub in Training when we last met, I was only a fraction larger than you back then and this is my full grown size.”
Tex whistled softly. “Behemoth size!”
Marmalade turned suddenly. “Tex meet Sij, Sij meet my bestest buddy apart from you of course, Tex.”
Tex stood up and composed himself, cleared his throat and stuck his paw out in greeting.
Sij knocked it away and grabbed him for a proper hug. “Any furriend of Marmalade's is a furriend of mine, even if they were trembling like a jelly holding two shiny toothpicks in a threatening manner.”
Tex patted him very carefully on the shoulder. “You too Sij, nice to meet you!”
Sij dropped him gently back to the ground and sat in front of the softly glowing fire. “Now tell me my old furriend how can I help you?”
Marmalade waved a paw and called out to Tex. “Coooeeeeee!”
Tex stared into the gleaming yellow eyes, not daring to look away and replied firmly but evenly. “Marmalade, now is really NOT a good time!”
Marmalade harrumphed and called backed irately. “Tex, that is Shaman Inca Jaguar or SIJ for short, he’s our contact!”
Tex broke eye contact with Sij and glared at Marmalade. “This is our contact?” He asked pointing a paw up at Sij.
“Yes, Tex that’s our contact.” Marmalade answered.
“Then why didn’t you say something before I went all Ninja?” Tex snapped back, giving Sij an apologetic smile.
“That was probably because I was stuck in this damn flipping hammock and couldn’t see!” Marmalade retorted, adding. “And if you could see your way to helping me out I would be very grateful.”
Sij turned and saw the cocooned Marmalade and smiled, a big pointy tooth smile, his teeth were huge and so very white. Tex gulped hard and edged uncertainly away.
Marmalade waved frantically at Sij who in one effortless leap had closed the distance between them. “Hi Sij,” he said nervously and began to ramble. “Great to see you again buddy, you’ve grown a lot since I last saw you, a helluva of lot, you’re flipping huge! How’s the Shamaning business treating you? And what on earth are you eating?”
Sij chuckled before replying in his heavy accent. “Marmalade my old furriend, it’s been too long!” He flicked a deadly looking claw out and expertly slashed the ties that bound his furriend up tighter than a turkey at Thanks Giving.
Marmalade fell to the ground with a whump and rolled over, got up quickly and dusted himself down. He extended his paw, but Sij pulled him in for a hug. Marmalade tried to extend his paws around his furriend but didn’t get any further than Sij’s muscular shoulders.
“Jeez buddy, what have you been eating, you are some serious size now?”
“A bit of this and a bit of that!” Sij chuckled again. “Remember I was only a Cub in Training when we last met, I was only a fraction larger than you back then and this is my full grown size.”
Tex whistled softly. “Behemoth size!”
Marmalade turned suddenly. “Tex meet Sij, Sij meet my bestest buddy apart from you of course, Tex.”
Tex stood up and composed himself, cleared his throat and stuck his paw out in greeting.
Sij knocked it away and grabbed him for a proper hug. “Any furriend of Marmalade's is a furriend of mine, even if they were trembling like a jelly holding two shiny toothpicks in a threatening manner.”
Tex patted him very carefully on the shoulder. “You too Sij, nice to meet you!”
Sij dropped him gently back to the ground and sat in front of the softly glowing fire. “Now tell me my old furriend how can I help you?”
Kimmy tells the gang to get ready to welcome
their good friend Naughty Little Cecil. He was being escorted and would
be there any moment. Kimmy looked around and saw Mugger, Miming,
Precious, Tuffy, Jazz ... what fun they were all going to have! Charlie
hopped over and Kimmy patted him with her little paw.
Kimmy/Naughty Little Cecil/Mugger/Miming/Precious/Tuffy/Jazz/Charlie/Little Willow/Cleokatra/Mr./Betsey/Popsi/Chrissy/Old Crone
Little
Willow couldn't believe her luck. All those years in the orphanage, the
nuns could never afford to buy the orphans books. All they could get
their paws on was second hand comic books.
Willow's favorite comic book was " The adventures of Dear Albert and Naughty Little Cecil". She always dreamed of meeting the handsome heroes and visiting all those fabulous places they did. They always made life seem like an adventure and she lived vicariously through them. Naughty Little Cecil was such a good looking guy! And he was coming to Rainbow Bridge!!! she felt like it was her lucky day. She blushed a bit under her fur and checked herself in the mirror. Then she ran and hid under a table, shy and excited at the same time.
Willow's favorite comic book was " The adventures of Dear Albert and Naughty Little Cecil". She always dreamed of meeting the handsome heroes and visiting all those fabulous places they did. They always made life seem like an adventure and she lived vicariously through them. Naughty Little Cecil was such a good looking guy! And he was coming to Rainbow Bridge!!! she felt like it was her lucky day. She blushed a bit under her fur and checked herself in the mirror. Then she ran and hid under a table, shy and excited at the same time.
Kimmy
too was excited as she had secretly rather liked Cecil. She noted the
suitcase of clothes he had brought - Naughty Little Cecil had always
been a snappy dresser. He had the dazed look of a new arrival but that
would go soon. Kimmy decided to put him in charge of Travel and
Adventure once he'd found his paws.
Now with so many exciting cats, dog and rabbit at the spa it seemed there was no end of fun to be had!
A
familiar face staggered into view. That old distinguished gray cat - Tom
Cat Ford, director of Clawless. He groaned when he saw the cats. 'Oh
no ... when the big movie lamp fell on me, I knew I was a goner but I
didn't think I would run into you LOT.'
Hmmm he thinks for a while. 'What is this place? It looks interesting
... hmm we could do a show right here and right now. But Kimmy you er,
are looking um ... good. Mugger ...you here too? Oh boy'.
Oh
my Cleokatra will have a lot of fun with all her furrends and she will
fit in purrfectly because she was such a diva when she was alive
Charlie
couldn't believe his luck, such an honour to meet a celebrity! He hoped
Naughty Little Cecil was as lovely as Kimmy and they could be friends-
he did think to himself that Naughty Little Cecil looked like fun!
Cleokatra
appeared at the spa wobbling on her little heels. She did a double take
when she saw her old friend Kimmy with Charlie beside her wearing a
little t-shirt. 'Eh?' she asked pointing at the bunny. 'how sweet'.
Mr
opened his eyes after a long sleep. He was back and escaped the
gatekeeper again. He scampered off to find Mugger and NLC. He had heard
his mom cry over him being here.
Kimmy
gave a shriek when she saw Mr. 'Mr you're not supposed to be here ...
Yet. Now where's Mugger? You'd better hide if Betsey or Chrissey see
you!'
The
party was over. Darn it! Betsey weaved unsteadily towards the abandoned
Gate. Bleary eyed and very tipsy she listened to annoying sounds of
live cats bemoaning the loss of Cecil, Miming and Jazz. Her head
throbbed menacingly, her eyes narrowed in pain
from the infernal noise of live cats descending on the Bridge again.
THIS show was driving her crazy. It was unfortunate that her wonderfully
alive rock musicians had happened to see her. They were gone in a flash
and now all that was left was the mourning of live cats for their dead
comrades. Miserable, that's what she was, and she didn't bother to hide
it. Even more annoying was Chrissy, who was dazzling the new arrivals
with her unearthly beauty and disarming charm. Her mood turned ugly
right about then and all her Gatekeeper grouchiness returned with a
vengeance as she kicked out all the remaining live cats, like Mr. and
Boots, who were still partying heartily on the Bridge. I've got to get
out of this place, she thought dismally. It was a thought that Chrissy
heard and in a flash Chrissy magically appeared before her. "So you want
to leave the Bridge?" Chrissy asked gently. Betsey retorted sharply,
"Heaven isn't all it's cracked up to be." Chrissy laughed and replied.
"Speaking of cracks, did you hire that detective agency yet? This dream
porthole has to be plugged, you know." Betsey yawned sleepily, "Yes,
Boss, right away boss, I'll get right on it, tomorrow, boss. Tomorrow is
after all another day in paradise.
A little later Kimmy sat on a piece of paper outside her IKEA cardboard box. She was sharing the paper with Precious and Cleokatra. Charlie sat nearby eating a carrot. Kimmy was eating Whiskas and discussing who was the hottest tom on The Bridge. Kimmy reckoned Tuffy, Cleokatra liked Mugger and Precious had a bit of a thing for
Miming. 'It's the ginger' she sighed and Kimmy rolled her eyes as she licked more Whiskas before attending to cleaning her little face. 'We could do with more romance here on Rainbow Bridge' she sighed. 'we're in our prime after all!' she cackled. Charlie blushed. He didn't have a girlfriend but he sort of liked Kimmy ...
Charlie kept munching on his carrot, hoping Kimmy didn't see him blush. He thought to himself, Kimmy must have so many male admirers. He didn't stand a chance...or did he? Charlie kept silently munching on his carrots while he decided on a plan of action. Charlie decided he wouldn't make a move yet, he hadn't known Kimmy that long, and he wasn't that kind of bunny. 'Perhaps if I just follow her round, and be very helpful, she'll see me as more than a friend...' He though to himself 'Yes, that's what I'll do'. He looked at Kimmy out of the corner of his eye, yes she was very beautiful.....
Mr goes waddling by and no one notices. "I guess they let anyone in here
Kimmy gazed over at Tuffy - he was so handsome ...! She thought of Mickey for just a moment and then shrugged. He wasn't here ...
Suddenly there was a misty haze, accompanied by harp music and ... bagpipes? - and when it clears (although not the music) a little tortie cat is seen. She mews with an Ulster mew and Kimmy rushed to greet her. 'What is your name' asked Kimmy. 'Popsi' said the little cat. 'I am called Popsi'. 'Welcome,' said Kimmy.
The Old Crone shuffled forward to reception and Popsi gave a loud mew that sounded more like a growl. The Old Crone jumped and pulled her shawl around her. Kimmy jumped in 'it's Ok Popsi, she isn't as scary as she looks but she's a bit deaf ...' Popsi raised her mew and the Old Crone arched her back. The two cats faced each other off and Kimmy giggled. 'Allow me. Single room in our de luxe spa hotel?' Popsi had no idea but what was that rabbit doing making eyes at Kimmy? This was just too weird. Kimmy pointed to a fur (fake of course) llined basket in a butcher's shop. 'That'll be yours. Lucky thing. I love chicken'. She patted her tum. 'Although I am very slim'. Popsi nodded, still in shock. Had she died and gone to heaven.
~July 30-Aug10, 2012 entries
Kimmy and Precious were busily getting a little salon together. Kimmy's fat little bottom waddled as she laid out towels, soap ... magazines (Celestial Mogue of course), hair driers ...assorted smelly things, brushes and of course the dreaded hair dye, colour - Red Rage. She proudly unveiled a sign outside the front and she and Precious stood back to admire. The Posh Pets Pampering Parlour - Rainbow Bridge Branch. (The PPPP, RBB) Oh joy of joys ... back in business.
~Last entry August 16, 2012
